Diplomacy

• Me: So, what do you do for a living?
• Them: I am a analyst in Micromacrohard Enterprises, inc. specializing in online usage monitoring and ecommerce.
• Me: So, uh, what do you do?
• Them: I specialize in online usage monitoring and ecommerce.
• Me: So you make a living off of being special.
• Them: I don't have an answer for that, however, I can tell you that this industry is a higly untapped and profitable industry that anybody can easily accomodate.
• Me: ...
• Them: I was formerly employed as an attorney at law until the circumstances where not optimal for the industry.
• Me: So that explains why you are such a [insert offensive word here].
• Them: I will agree, however my firm has a recommendation to use this style of English articulation for the purposes of efficiency.
• Me: I will never understand why the end call button on Skype isn't green. (hangs up)