How to Eat a Cake

1. Make sure nobody is looking.
   This includes parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, goldfish, cousins, and cats (dogs are too faithful).
2. Get your tools out.
3. Quietly and carefully remove the cover.
4. Take out just enough so that nobody will notice.
5. Quickly evacuate the crime scene.
6. Eat the cake.
7. Go back to the crime scene to conceal the evidence.
8. Call the police to pretend that you didn’t do it.
9. Make sure that the bones in the backyard are still there (you don’t want people to discover them, do you?).